Ostani zvest samemu sebi (Blog našega mednarodnega prostovoljca Ivana)

Včasih na svoji poti skozi življenje, iz takšnega ali drugačnega razloga, nekaj pustimo za sabo. Ampak kdaj in kako se lahko vrnemo k tem stvarem?

Dovoli mi, da ti povem svojo osebno zgodbo o »vračanju« k sebi: Včasih sem bil tekmovalni športnik v borilnih veščinah. To zame ni bil le hobi ali šport – skozi najtežje trenutke mojega najstništva me je prav to držalo pokonci. A zaradi življenja in osebnih razlogov sem moral prenehati – in to za skoraj sedem let.

Ko sem začel pot mednarodnega prostovoljstva v Sloveniji, sem na treningu srečal nekoga, ki mi je pokazal, kako zelo so mi borilne veščine pomenile. A to me je hkrati soočilo z dejstvom, kako zelo sem iz forme, kar me je močno prizadelo. Zaradi svojih pričakovanj do samega sebe me je postalo strah »poskusiti znova«. Vse skupaj je bilo skoraj kot povsem nova izkušnja.

Kljub temu pa sta me radovednost in želja, da ponovno odkrijem tiste čudovite občutke iz preteklosti (in malo tudi zunanji »pritisk«), pripeljala na lokalne Pon-Do-Kwan treninge. Ura je bila čudovita, čeprav sem skoraj omedlel, ker sem se preveč naprezal. Tudi ko sem se – kot sem pričakoval – srečal z realnostjo svoje fizične nepripravljenosti, sem bil napolnjen z občutkom ponosa, motivacije in znanim notranjim žarom, za katerega sem mislil, da sem ga za vedno izgubil.

Zelo sem hvaležen samemu sebi, da nisem obupal in sem poskusil znova. Pa tudi vsem okoli mene, ki so mi pomagali, da sem se po tolikih letih vrnil k nečemu, kar mi tako zelo koristi.

Ponudim lahko nekaj nasvetov:

• Razišči in uravnaj svoja pričakovanja.
• Imej kolikor se le da jasno predstavo, zakaj si želiš vrniti se k temu.
• Poslušaj svoje telo – njegove potrebe in želje, a ne dovoli, da bi te strah in negotovost nadzorovala.
• Pogovori se z nekom ali pa imej notranji dialog (piši dnevnik), to ti bo pomagalo predelati občutke in lažje načrtovati konkretne korake.
• In za konec: Samo. Naredi. Ta. Korak. Ne dovoli, da bi te tvoj um pregovoril, da odnehaš. Ko izbereš dan in uro – zaupaj si! Vse bo okej :)

Returning to Yourself:

We, sometimes, drop certain things along our journey through life. For one or another reason. But how and when is it possible and proper to return to those things?

Let me tell you a personal story on “returning” to Myself:
I used to be a Martial Arts’ competing athlete. Which used to not be just a hobby or a sport for me, It got me through the toughest moments of my teenage years.
But because of life and personal reasons, I had to stop for almost 7 years.

During on-arrival training I met someone who showed me how much Martial Arts meant for me. The issue is that it made me indirectly aware how out of shape I was, it triggered me, and, also due to my expectations towards myself, it created fear to “try again”. It is practically a “new”  experience all over again.

However, the curiosity and desire to re-discover those amazing sensations i remember in the past (plus a little bit of external convincing) pushed me to go to the local Pon-Do-Kwan classes. I had a wonderful lesson but I almost passed out from pushing myself.
Even after being met with the harsh reality of being out of shape, as I had expected, I was filled to the brim with pride, motivation and a familiar spark I thought I had lost forever.

I’m very grateful to myself for not giving up and trying. Also to all those around me, who helped me do something so useful to me, after so many years.

So I can offer my personal notes:
– Explore and manage your expectations.
– Have a decently clear idea of why you want to return to it.
– Listen to your body’s needs and desires, but don’t allow fear and uncertainty to control you.
– Talk to someone about it or have internal dialogue (write in your diary), it helps you process and plan the concrete steps more easily.
– Lastly: Just. Do It. Don’t allow your mind to rationalize and talk you out of it. Once you picked the day and time, trust Yourself! It will be good :)